Someone didn't get the memo about rock 'n' roll being about impressing girls.

{Lyrics to "Puck Boy," a song written by C.:}

You are cool

Dude, yes you are

{bum bum bum}

But girls

Are not cool

At all; boys rock

But girls are losers

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

C.: I'm not very good at addition.

P.: Addition is easy. What's four plus three?

C.: Nine?

P.: No, it's seven. Look {shows him on his fingers}.

C.: That's addition?!?!

This is why you should not have The Talk with a child who is also reading the Percy Jackson series.

P.: I wish a human would have sex with a cow so they could make a Minotaur.

Good plan.

P: {scowling} I’m going to come back before she’s dead so my children can meet their evil grandmother.

Shhh. One of them might hear you, and then we're done for.

P.: Looking at all the girls there [at school], the girls are about a billion times bossier.